It’s Christmas Eve, and just about the first days of Hanukkah, and those Holiday Messages are out there, having a mental impact on us. By the way, those are the holidays I celebrate, because my dad was Catholic and my mom Jewish. It’s a learned tradition. The reality of holidays is, that they are neither good nor bad, they are what we make them. The pressure we feel is almost always commercialized and learned from many years of being taught what material function is to be served on any particular holiday. Most people experience a deep mental impact on Christmas and New Year’s.
Stripping away the pressure does happen for some people. I recently heard a podcast, where the guests were minor celebrities speaking about Christmas. One guest said Christmas is for kids, that he didn’t feel any need to participate, he felt no pressure at all. Another guest felt joyous and spirited during Christmas and loved to walk around town and look at all the decorations. Their partners, both women, also guests felt there was much to do during the holidays. They were extremely busy, working, planning, and buying gifts.
Neither of the men felt any pressure because they were not planning, buying, and working during the Holiday. While their partners felt there was a great deal of pressure to meet an undefined standard, every year. Both women felt they had to present themselves in the spirit of the holiday season, by throwing parties, buying gifts, and working a great deal to be considered “good” holiday hosts.
The pressure was there, having its effect on the families, but none of the participants would consider backing away from their holiday stress, even though the impact on people is so great. While the example is just four people, the truth of holiday stress is overwhelming.
Opioid deaths in December 2023, totaled 5813, a decrease from July 2023, but an overall increase over the months leading up to the new year. Domestic violence, alcohol-related violence, and assaults all increase between 2 and 10 percent during the last quarter of the year. The most telling statistics are those suicide hotlines rose 45% over the last year, with a large number during the holiday season.
The best way to deal with holiday stress is to back away from it. Just because people are texting and posting good cheer, and high spirits does not mean they are feeling that way, when not texting or posting. Be aware of the reality of the Holiday Season, it is mostly advertising. Malls empty out by 7 pm, on weekends, and even though the media is saying it’s a banner year for retail, it is not. Three large retailers are going under, Container Store, Party City, and Stop and Shop. Shop small shops, buy less, buy more for the thought than the trend. These are all ways to reduce stress.
Stay away from large gatherings, where there is a tendency to feel the need to meet a standard that is out of reach. That standard might be partying, eating, gift purchases, or flirting. Enjoy the moment, leave early, and take time to reflect on all the good that is happening around us.
Walk away, it is easier than you think, to regroup, not get caught in the marketing, and stay sober, lively, and engaged. We all experience the holiday season differently. Take the time to reach out, people are lonely, afraid, unsure of themselves, and feeling like they don’t measure up and no one cares. There are people who care, and if you don’t mind, leave a comment here, and I will answer you.
Be well, be back, and come often. I am always here.
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